


Forever and back

by garseeya



Category: Disney - All Media Types, Disney Princesses, Elsamaren - Fandom, Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Has a happy ending tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25297798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garseeya/pseuds/garseeya
Summary: Love is a journey.Submission 5 for ElsaMaren Summer 2020 based on the prompt, I’ll always love you.
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18
Collections: Elsamaren Summer 2020





	Forever and back

**Author's Note:**

> PS: My submission 4 ElsaMaren Summer 2020 is a comic and can be found at: https://www.instagram.com/p/CCrLw8fF6uL/?igshid=m08bbq6pxuce

“I’ll always love you, Els. To forever and back, okay?” Maren whispered as Elsa cried into her arms before she would be forced to depart. 

In a long distance relationship, the couple had only been together a few months and yet, each time they parted to return home, Elsa’s heart ached as if it would be forever. As time passed and their love blossomed, Elsa’s insecurities grew. Working and living in two different cities with each having a very different life goals, Elsa couldn’t help but feel as if their relationship was doomed to fail. Certainly Maren would one day find someone to be a better fit and when that day would come to pass, she knew she wouldn’t be able to take it. She had been hurt before and couldn’t take another loss. 

Staring at the ring on her finger, Elsa couldn’t help but feel the promise it symbolized was more reflective of her own looming insecurities rather than a commitment to one day wed. Sure she had agreed to spend her life with Maren, and sure she loved her more than anything, but they were young with their whole lives ahead of them. Though it had yet to come to pass, she thought, it was only a matter of time until Maren found happiness elsewhere. 

“Merry Christmas, Els. I hope you like it!” Maren smiled as Elsa unwrapped the small surprise Maren had prepared. It was a journal filled with letters, poems, drawings, and pictures Maren had compiled from over the past three months of their relationship. It, in Maren’s mind, served to show Elsa that even when they were apart, Elsa was always on her mind and in her heart. 

“Its wonderful, Honey. I love it. I can’t wait to read it later,” Elsa said, a smile painted on her face and anxiety filling her stomach. She knew she had to leave. If not today, then maybe tomorrow but either way, she had to leave before Maren decided it was time. “I’m glad you like it, Snowflake. You can give it back to me when you’re done so I can keep adding to it and when space finally runs out, I’ll make you a sequel,” Maren winked. 

Months had passed and Elsa felt herself grown more and more discontent with her, life, herself, and with Maren. In her insecurities, she had grown to feel resentment towards her partner though she tried her best not to let it show. “I brought the journal back for you,” Elsa said, handing the book to Maren who received it with a smile on her face, undoubtedly excited to fill it with more adventures. Heart breaking, Elsa looked away as the pair carried on about their day. She loved Maren, there was no doubt about that, but every laugh, every smile, it made her want to run; maybe one day she would - she had to. 

It was a quiet fall evening as Maren laid in bed. Eyes on the verge of sleep, she was pulled from her slumber by the quiet hum of the phone laying next to her. She smiled as she looked at the screen, Elsa’s name flashing across it. As she quietly read the text, her smile slowly faded as her heart grew heavy. It was a simple note; Elsa couldn’t do this anymore. Panicked, Maren dialed her love, tears filling her eyes as she was met with ring after ring before the voicemail picked up. “I don’t understand what is going on; can we at least talk?” 

The following day seemed to drag as Maren waited for Elsa to arrive. A pang of guilt in her stomach, Maren pondered all the ways she had failed; all the ways she had let Elsa down. She knew their relationship had been rocky the past couple months but it was something they were working through. Elsa had wanted space to which Maren obliged. Maybe more time with her friends would help; maybe more time to focus on her work and her goals would be just what she needed. This was to no avail, it seemed as Maren watched the clock tick by, waiting for the conversation she knew they had to have. 

——

It had been years since Maren had looked at the journal which now sat buried in the back of her closet along with the ring she once wore like a tattoo. So much had changed since that conversation; since Elsa had left, the circumstances of which Maren still could still not comprehend. That conversation, that piece of her life, was something to her that was better left buried so as not to reopen the healing wound left in her heart. By all outward appearances, Maren’s life since then had been nothing short of a success; the people around constantly singing her praises. Still, try as she might, no success, no artificial happiness could fill the void she held inside. 

Pulling out and dusting off the journal, Maren sighed as she opened it, pages filled with unread entries meant for Elsa’s eyes. Flipping through the book, a melancholy smile making its way across her face. As much as it hurt, as sad as she had felt everyday since the end, she couldn’t help but feel that every moment with Elsa leading up to it had been more than worth it. This wasn’t what she wanted but she was grateful for the time they had. Though she may never fully heal, it was time for her to at least try. She deserved another shot at happiness, and hoped that Elsa would one day find the same. 

“How far is forever?” Elsa read at the message drafted on her phone. It had been well over a year since she and Maren had last spoke, the pair having tried to remain friends for sometime after the break up. Doing so proved exceedingly painful as the two began to converse less and less over the years until there was nothing left at all. After all this time, they were strangers again connected only by a string of memories of times once shared. She kept the draft open, days passing as other messages she received went ignored. What did she hope to achieve in pressing send and what would the repercussions be? It had taken years for her to heal from the consequences of her own actions, wounds caused by self-doubt. Though she knew they could never go back to what they were, she longed to know who Maren had become. 

A new message from an unknown number met Maren as she glanced down at her phone. It was a simple, unsigned message, the author of which Maren immediately placed. These four words if spoken a year ago would have left her in pieces but since then she had grown. Though her heart still held love for the writer, it now sat next to an inner peace Maren fought tooth and nail to build. Unsure of what to make of the message, Maren let it sit. She needed time, time to process those four words, why now, and why at all. Days passed before she felt ready; before she decided whether a reply was worth the risk. Things would never be the same. They were strangers once more, but she wanted to know Elsa again; she was willing to face the unknown. “How far do you want it to be?”

——

Sitting on the couch, a small boy cozied up as he patiently waited to hear of another adventure from his moms’ story. Seated with the journal in hand, Maren sat arm around her son as her wife approached. Finishing what was now deemed the first chapter of the book, Idun pleaded for one more story to which Maren obliged. As she read from the page, her son questioned the six year time gap between this story and the last. Meeting Elsa’s eye, Maren smiled as her wife nodded. “Well, love is a journey, son and sometimes people have to finish growing themselves before they are able to grow together,” Maren spoke. 

“Really?” Idun questioned, glancing up at Elsa. 

“Yes, son. I always loved your Mom,” Elsa began, “but sometimes love can feel scary if you aren’t ready. As much as I felt for her, as much as I wanted to be with her, I knew deep down in my heart that the time wasn’t right. I was insecure in myself and found myself projecting that on your Mom, which wasn’t right.”

“And so you left?” 

“I did. I was so scared to be hurt, so scared your Mom would find someone else, that I ran away. After I ran, as time passed, I knew I was wrong for thinking your Mom would hurt me in that way and instead came to realize that I needed to look within myself and try to heal where those insecurities were coming from.”

“I see... and did you get better?”

“I did, little one,” Elsa chuckled. “It wasn’t easy and it took a lot of work, but it was well worth the time and effort. When we finally did come back together, the change we had made in ourselves - the change I made in myself - gave us a firm foundation to start over and create something new.”

“I am glad, Mommy. You did the right thing, right Mom?” Idun remarked as he turned to face Maren. 

Smiling at her son’s comment, Maren met Elsa’s eyes, a welcoming look of warmth written on her face, “Yeah, son, she did. She needed to choose herself and I am so proud of her for it.”

“And you still love her too right?” Idun asked, a slight look of concern in his furrowed brow as he processed everything be had been told. 

Chuckling at the innocence of her son’s questioning, Maren met Elsa’s eyes once more before leaning over to give her a kiss. “I do. To forever and back.”


End file.
